Fantastically sardonic porn movie reviews to cheer your weekend up. Jared Von Hindman is an illustrator, and in his spare time he reviews crappy porn movies. On this “hidden page” called Mom, stop reading this page, he professes his fascination for weird porn movies because of their “comedic value”. Apart from the reviews he muses on giant boob fetishes, props in porno, scat porn(???), vomit fetishes (???!!!), and porn movie titles.

The other type of porn title is really the dominant one. Here, the film’s titled by whatever the hell’s in it. If there are a lot of black women having sex in the ass, a potential title could be “A LOT OF BLACK WOMEN HAVING SEX IN THE ASS.” Think I’m kidding? I think all the following titles are completely clear about what they’re about: Anal Destruction, Big Booty White Girls, Double Dicked, Hot Chicks Little Tits, Jam it up my Ass, Naughty Teens Who Love it in the Ass, Strap-On Bitches in Training, Tongue Fuck My Ass Slave, All Ass Orgy, etc. It’s really easy and immediately clear exactly what the film’s about. Can you imagine if Hollywood’s films started to be titled like that? We’d see movies in theaters called “Bang Bang Boobs Action” or “Christina Ricci Takes her Top off 15 Minutes into the film” or just “Computer Generated Dinosaurs”. Sure, it’s less interesting, but we’d be fooled less often. The movie “Collateral,” for example, would just be called “Slow Moving Drama With Very Little Action.”

Private movies – thankfully – are nowhere to be found on this page!

This entry was posted on Friday, July 6th, 2007 at 6:22 pm and is filed under Beyond Private. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.